Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Bigger iPhone 6 Plus is So Awesome that it Blows

It is finally here. The long awaited iPhone that Steve Jobs didn't want you to have while he was alive and now it has hit the launchpad. It has a fucking big screen! Yea man. Cost more too and guess what, the camera is the same as the iPhone 5S but with OIS, which helps to stabilize your video and photo while you're out shooting porn and wanking at the same time. And this awesome feature is only available on the Plus model. Losers buying the iPhone 6 will see a digital version of the stabilization. - D'uh!

So does it match up the 4K video shooting capability of the Samsung Galaxy Note 4?
Of course not but who cares? You got 1080p 60fps video and the most awesome slow mo sequence known to a mobile device. Who the fuck wants a four fucking K video capture? Apple don't make TVs so why bother?!

Can you capture 3D photos? Who the fuck wants something like that? No man. It's got an awesome 8 megapixel camera and that's all you ever fucking need.

And there is no messing around with RAW files either to stuff up your measly storage but heck, ante up to the 128GB model and there is ample place for ...just that Apple figured it out you ain't gonna need no RAW file processing to mess with your life. EVER.

This is the most awesomest piece of hardware to come out of Cupertino man...and you can get all those nasty notifications on your new Apple iWatch! Just toss up another 350 bucks and you'd be able to own this beauty that pairs so well with your iPhone 6 Plus till it rocks. Just like'd be dancing and humming to the songs from iTunes, all for fucking FREE!

What's more, the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus has a customizable curved display screen. All you have to do is wear tight jeans and load it up on your back pocket. Sit anywhere for more than five minutes and it will naturally curve to the shape of your butt. Unfortunately this feature won't work for waif thin models but rather for the overweight ones among us. Anyway... why the hell would you want to invest in a Samsung curve display smartphone when you can actually customize this to fit your body shape? definitely rock!


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